Reflection on 2022

I was scrolling through Instagram and came across these prompts to reflect on 2022. Its been a while since I had posted something personal so I thought I'd reflect and put it out there. I challenge you to reflect as well. Set goals. 

Last year on my 38th birthday surrounded by my favorite people and given a beautiful wrap, Ben and Jerry's ice cream, and paper flowers (that I can't kill)!

What three words would you use to describe 2022? Travel, tired, thankful

Back to traveling again in 2022

What was a theme that kept coming up? Running, family and friends. Sometimes I struggle to find time and balance work and life. After three years of the COVID-19 pandemic, we were eager to plan a few family trips this year. The first was in January to Hawaii for a medical conference on the Big Island that I needed/wanted to attend. The second big trip was to Iceland to visit college friends. We saw volcanoes erupting with red hot lava spurting out fresh rock on each trip! We swam with manta rays and snorkeled with schools of fish. We went camping with friends and took our annual boundary waters canoe area wilderness (BWCAW) trip in August with my dad. The ability to completely disconnect from technology and sleep under the Milky Way listening to the calling loons is a gift. 

We spent a weekends with family. A few at the cabin in Wisconsin, including the 4th of July parade as "One in a Minions" and some in Duluth and along the North Shore. I'm so lucky to have an amazing sister and brother-in-law and three nieces that we get along so well with. We also enjoyed throwing my Dad a retirement party at Indianhead. 

Boat parade minions

My little sister, Anne

We did our first road trip down to Chicago in June to see Bob and Kim. We had fun being tourists and spending time indoors since it was over 100 degrees! We celebrated Bob and Kim's 80th birthday with a Benziger family road trip and fish fry in Door County, WI in July. 

It was also amazing to see friends again in the flesh. I ran a half marathon in Las Vegas and met up with one of my best friends from medical school, Ann. We went camp with college friends at St. Croix State Park in June. We saw all the Rocheford cousins at Lauren's graduation party. Many of my Macalester soccer teammates came in for Annie Borton's Hall of Fame induction in September. In October, I had my 20th high school reunion. Despite it being 2022, it felt like just yesterday we were back at Mounds View - go Mustangs! 

Many of my work conferences were back in person so I was flying to Washington D.C, Chicago and back to Washington D.C., again and again. It's always fun to see old mentors and friends and co-fellows at these meetings. I did appreciate the ability to attend a few conferences virtually and only got stuck in Chicago once due to a canceled flight. Thank you Zoom! However, with increased travel it's tough to find balance spending quality time with family and Seth is often home alone as a single parent. Part of my volunteer jobs on the board of this organization or that organization is saying yes to attend these professional networking/conferences. I enjoy the conferences and being on panels and speaking or presenting my research and talking to my colleagues but these conferences also take me away from family above and beyond the time that my "9-5" (more like 7-6:30pm) day job as a cardiologist takes me away. I'm on call one night every week and every 4-6 weekends. I see patients in the hospital and drive 1.5 hours to outreach in rural Wisconsin once a week. Looking at 2023, we are excited to continue exploring but also balancing the kids activities and work, too.

What happened in 2022 that deserves celebrating? Marit performed in her first Nutcracker ballet. Theo played in his first basketball tournament. Seth wins Mr. Mom award (not really but they really should give it to him). I finished my first and second official marathon (one super hard Superior Fall trail marathon and the other was the Twin Cities marathon). I was also accepted into the American College of Cardiology Clinical Trials training program this year. I completed the program learning about running clinical trials from pioneers and phenomenal women mentors and experts in the field. In addition, professionally I was chair of the membership committee and a member of the American Heart Association Epidemiology Leadership Council; I recently became a member of the American College of Cardiology prevention leadership committee; and I served on the board of directors for the Minnesota Chapter of the American College of Cardiology for the 4th year. 

Marit in the Nutcracker ballet

Finishing Twin Cities marathon

Theo playing traveling basketball

Back in person for AHA Scientific Session 2022

All my conference ribbons at AHA

At the ACC Heart House in Washington D.C. with women leaders in cardiology at the Clinical Trials training program

At the ACC Scientific Sessions meeting in D.C.

What did you find most challenging? Marit. My daughter just turned 8. She is a force of nature.  She is smart, funny, tall and athletic. However, I wonder if she has a split personality disorder because sometimes she acts like a "Terrible 2" mixed with a feisty teenager and other times she is a sweet angel. This monster comes out mostly when she gets hangry, which is almost every day. She throws tantrums laying on the floor and runs around screaming at the top of her lungs. She will lie through her teeth. She fights us every night trying to go to bed. She won't brush her teeth. When we try to correct her behavior, she runs away screaming and will lock herself in the bathroom. We fight getting dressed for ballet; she almost missed her Nutcracker performance because she wouldn't put on her leotard and tights. She is a night owl; she stays up late listening to bed time stories on her Alexa. She waits for me to get home to read her books. Every morning, it's a challenge to get her up, dressed and out of bed and go to school. We've tried everything, even paying her. It only worked for one day. She won't brush her hair. She won't do her chores or feed her guinea pig. Sometimes I bribe her by saying I'll get her bagels at Caribou if she gets dressed and out the door by 7AM. Some days that doesn't even work! I'm not exactly sure how we are going to make it another decade especially if they say it only gets worse. Totally open to advice if anyone has some.

The monster child and her pet, Buttercup

Other days, she is creative, kind, loving and isn't a total monster. At school her teachers say she's always very polite and kind and a good friend. I think, "Who is this child you speak of?" She says she wants to be an actor when she grows up and I think she puts on a good show. If only she wouldn't do it at home!

Fishing at the cabin

I wonder, "What did I do wrong? Why is the universe trying to challenge me? Don't I have enough on my plate?" I do apologize to her for losing my temper. I tell her I'm frustrated. I'm sure I'm not as pleasant when I'm "hangry" (hungry and angry) and tired, too. I will say, her most redeeming quality is that she is the best cuddler in the house! She also makes a good big spoon. Parenting is so hard; it makes going to work seem like a breeze!

Iceland with the hangry monster

What lessons did you learn? I learned that there are not enough hours in the day to do everything. I've learned to let some things go. I learned that I need to say no or not right now. I learned that we need to keep the calendar updated with tasks and kids activities on their own schedule. I learned I shouldn't triple book myself; one cannot physically volunteer to be the medical/first responder at an overnight Cub Scout camp on a lake in Northern Minnesota, be on call at the hospital for work, and attend one's 20th high school reunion in the Twin Cities all in the same weekend. Somehow it all worked out and I added on a marathon, too (thank you Seth, Mom and Dad and Annie).

If you could go back to the start of the year, what advice would you give yourself? It's going to be busy and it's ok to say no, not right now. Be present in the moment. Figure out what bring you joy and look at everything you do through that lens. Spend more time with family. Tell the people you love how much they mean to you. Play more games. Make more art. Read more books. Slow down. 

Family portrait, by a high school friend Ryan

What have you gained this year? I have gained new friendships. I met some new running friends who are strong, smart, and super tough women. I started doing triathlons again and met some amazing athletes that I open water swim and bike with. Some of these athletes are inspirational to follow as they compete on the national and international levels. I also met some new friends playing co-rec soccer again. I grew as a mom. It's not easy having two elementary-age children coming out of a pandemic. I gained experience at work and am no longer an early-career cardiologist; I have transitioned to a mid-career leader and mentor to others. 

I am strong. Finishing the Chester Rim 5K in deep snow

My running group holiday party

What have you lost? I have lost time. I can't believe we'll in a few short days I'll writing 2-0-2-3 when I sign a consent form at work, what happened to 2022?! Sometimes it feels that life is just passing by so fast. But then I sit back and look through photos. I forgot how packed the year was. How much fun we had. I remember how I set goals and accomplished those goals. I remember how much the kids have grown; how much they learned. I have lost memories; memories of good times with loved ones we've lost. I try to remember their voices. "What would they say if I called them today?" I try to remember but their memories fade. 

Where did you find comfort, support or ease? I found comfort in talking to my Mom (and my Dad) on a daily basis driving to and from work. Sometimes it's only 2 or 3 minutes just to say hello or good morning. Other times, it's for 80 minutes while I drive down Hwy 53 to Spooner, WI, passing bald eagles, deer, and having the call drop once or twice due to poor cell service. We talk about interesting cases, upcoming activities, planning for good times and upcoming travel. I often hear my mom tell me the same story 2 or 3 times but I just listen, again. I'm happy that my Mom and Dad are both retired now. I'm happy they are in good health and enjoy spending so much time with us and their grandchildren.

My family at Sugar Lake Lodge

My in-laws Bob and Kim

Who could you not have made it through the year without? My husband, Seth. He's my rock and I don't know what I would do without him. Te amo mucho!

My rock, Seth

Aloha! Getting lei'd in Hawaii

What are your goals for 2023? I'd like to have 1-2 goal races to train for to stay active and healthy. Right now, I'm thinking about signing up for Grandma's marathon in June and a couple sprint or Olympic triathlons in July and August. I want to see as many sunrises over Lake Superior as I can this spring. I'm also on the YMCA Master's swim team and will compete in my first adult swim meet since 1998 when I was a marlin at the Northwest YMCA. I'm not planning to break any records but it's been fun to have something different to do (and it's a bonus that my eye lashes don't freeze while doing it!) I'm also playing in an indoor co-rec soccer league and have a goal to not get injured. I hope to complete the 30-day Yoga Challenge in January. I will be coaching my kids Gitchi Gummi soccer teams starting in March. My goal is to make sure they have fun and hopefully love soccer as much as Seth and I do! Last, but not least, my goal is to try to be more helpful around the house. I am so thankful for all that Seth does for our family and I plan to treat him to a nice vacation in April. 

Sunrise in Canal Park

Sunrise over Lake Superior

Sunrise in canal park

More pictures from 2022: mostly running at 5A.M. and having fun not working (even though 95% of my time I'm working)

Skiing at Spirit Mountain

Running group in Hartley

Frozen eyelashes

Running group

Preventable study team lunch

HealthPartners and Essentia PedsBP study team

Peds BP study team

We enrolled our first patient in the cardiometabolic registry!

My amazing cardiology friends

The best locum cardiology team! Makkuni and Janjua

Party time with my boss and her husband

Cardiology team

Cardiology team lunch

Women cardiology dinner

My "little" cousin playing in her college soccer game

Back on the field for co-rec soccer

Family trip up the North Shore

Date nights at the symphony

Throwback to 2002! 

Denise and Laura at MV '02 reunion

Old friends at reunion - Pete, Andrew, me, Michael and Ben

Hi Chris!

Old neighbors Dave and Andy

Mac in the City in Duluth

Cara came to visit MN

Annie Borton Hall of Fame weekend at Mac

At the cabin

Agate hunting

At the start of the trail marathon

At the start of moose mountain marathon

We did it! Anthony was a 50 mile finisher and I was a 26 mile finisher!

Dead after the trail marathon

Portaging in BWCAW

Portaging

In Iceland with Cara

Iceland

Iceland waterfall

Mac friends in Iceland

Blue Lagoon

Blue lagoon mud masks

Tandem bike

Kayaking in Lake Michigan

Bada$$ triathlon women

Trail running at Curnow

Sprint tri time

Open water swim at Pike lake with the Duluth Tri team

Pontoon rides at the cabin

4th of July parade

Open water swimming

Weekend in Chi-town

Chicago bean

Cousins reunited!

Masters swim team practice at the Y

DQ after a soccer game

Mountain biking in Hartley

Mini golf with COVID kids

Putting on the bike rodeo at Congdon Park

Duluth Adult Prom night with Kate

Go Red for Women team

lady cardiologists

Cardiology team in Hayward, WI

At Gooseberry Falls in the spring

Skiing in April!

Biathlon training ground

Old MV friend Andrea!

Cousins big and small!

Old college friend Lizz

Pacing the Hot Chocolate 15K

Lady cardiologists at ACC

Old med school friend- Rachel

Old Fogarty friend Anastasia

MN ACC happy hour

Swim lessons

Running group

My #1 running buddy, Heather

Old med school friend Ann in Vegas 

Ready to rock N roll for the 5K in Vegas

We did it! Rock N roll 1/2 marathon

Old MV friend Chris

Snowshoeing in Northland

Cub scouts with Theo

Cub scouts at the UMD hockey game

Hawaii volcano

Hawaii lava tube

Morning walk on the beach

Celebrating finally getting to treat mom and dad to a fancy dinner topped off with a glass of port and crème brulee!