Dear Studly Uncle Larry

Lawrence M. Rocheford

Dear Studly Uncle Larry,

I'm sorry I didn't get to say goodbye. We are really going to miss you! You left us too soon and for that we are very sad. You were a pretty great guy. You loved spending time with your family - Beth, Lauren, David - and the Rocheford clan. I know I can speak for all of us and say we are going to miss your laugh, your great big hugs, your (sometimes inappropriate) jokes, your short texts and emails, your long thoughtful conversations, and most of all your endless love. We know that a part of you will live on in all of us. We promise to keep your memory alive and remember the good times we had with you.

While your death becomes another COVID statistic (101 COVID deaths recorded in MN on 11/26/2020), we know that you were so much more than that. Despite taking precautions with wearing masks and avoiding crowds, you couldn't escape the virus due to rising community spread. You had been in the hospital earlier in the week but texted me that it was "worse night last night...constant nonproductive cough, blood draws, vitals...worse than the day of my open heart." And were "so glad to be out of there." I'm glad you were able to spend Thanksgiving with your family at home doing what you love - eating your favorite foods (turkey, gravy, corn pudding, etc.). Better a home cooked meal than dying alone in the hospital. When they called the ambulance because you couldn't breathe on Thanksgiving night, we were all very scared. They immediately put you on a breathing machine due to low oxygen and you had a respiratory arrest. CPR was not enough. It's not fair. None of this is fair. This is why COVID sucks so bad. You had so much more to live for; to watch Lauren and David play sports, to graduate, to get married, etc. I know you were worried about dying from COVID. I just wish there was something more we could have done to save you.

When I look back as far as I can remember, you were always part of my life. I remember going sledding at the golf course by your house in St. Paul. You were the "fun Uncle" and would play airplane or wrestle back in your bachelor days. You made us call you "Studly" in order to escape. You taught us how to drive your red truck (Ford Bronco) when we were only 14 or 15 on the back roads near the cabin on Velvet Lake. Then you moved to Fairview Ave. and you met Beth. I remember your beautiful winter wedding on December 11, 1998, with pictures in Meers Park and the reception in the mansion on Summit Ave. You would have celebrated your 22nd anniversary next month!

When I was at Macalester, I would walk or bike over to your house and play with Lauren, who was just a baby. We'd go for walks around the SPA track and play catch with Maisie. I remember the Adirondack chairs and the picket fence that you made and painted white, just like Grandpa Jim did. You reminded me of him - a loving, caring, gentle giant. Athletic, smart, and funny. Then you adopted David and had not one but two beautiful babies. As the kids grew, you moved to Inver Grove Heights to a lovely house with a big backyard for a swing set for the kids but I knew it was painful for you to leave St. Paul.

I remember the many trips we took to Colorado to ski at Winter Park. You were a very good skier. I remember the Y2K New Year's sleigh ride at the YMCA of the Rockies as we waited for the world to end. It didn't. We always had an adventure in Colorado; a crash or two into a snowbank and losing the car keys on a run and having to hike back up the hill. I remember driving home from Colorado and the conditions were not great. Everyone was asleep and it was you driving your car and I was driving our car. Around 3 or 4am I saw a SUV rolled over in the ditch off I-35. I slowed down but I was going too fast to stop and we were almost home. Just as we were getting home we got a call. You had walked to the next exit and called to say you lost control on black ice and the car had flipped. I turned back because I knew it was you. I was so scared and thankful that you and Beth and the dog were ok.

In 2011, you traveled to Costa Rica with us to be the officiant in our wedding. Before we left you would take us to your favorite breakfast spot, Day by Day Cafe on West 7th Street in St. Paul. I can't believe it's been nearly 10 years! "By the power of your love and commitment, I now pronounce you husband and wife!" You declared outside on the grass of the Hotel Diria under tall palm trees. While I tried to listen to you, I was distracted by the sun reflecting on the waves on Tamarindo beach and surfers riding just behind you. I also thought I'd make you cry if we made eye contact (you only choked up once). We are so thankful that you not only helped us prepare the ceremony but you set an example of how to be loving and kind and keep a good relationship. I'm sure Beth will miss your companionship.

A few days before the wedding, a big group of us went to Arenal and went zip lining. You didn't tuck your knees in and so you slowed down and stopped just short of the platform. You were suspended hundreds of feet up above the valley floor and were pretty terrified. You had to turn yourself around and pull yourself up the rope until the worker could grab you.

I remember when I had Theo in 2012 and we came home from Seattle for a weekend and your family hosted a family party to meet the new "grandchild". Birthday parties, bridal showers, baby showers, holidays, you name it, you and Beth were wonderful and generous hosts. You loved family time and it was fun to get together and see Lauren and David growing up. One year we came home and there was snow and we went sledding in your backyard. We swung on the tree swing with Rita. Theo had never seen so much snow!

In 2017, we moved back from Seattle to Duluth and we would see you and your family at the cabin fairly often. Lauren and David loved to go tubing and water skiing behind the speed boat. It was fun to see my kids, Theo and Marit, look up to their "big cousins." Your kids are so great and despite being my "little cousins," they are great with the even "littler cousins," Theo, Marit, Evie and Josie and Lucy. It reminds me of when David was little and we'd play baseball with the big red bat. He'd nail it across the street (and a couple times into Grandma JoJo's cabin window, too)! It always made you proud to see your kids throwing a touchdown, or hitting a triple, or scoring a goal. David is quite the baseball and football player and snowboarder too! Lauren has become quite the soccer player. Probably from all the times you helped them practice in the back yard. I'm sure you enjoyed watching their teams do well this year.

After Grandpa Jim died when I was young, my mom would always tell me to say a prayer to Grandpa before I got in the pool before a race or on the soccer field. It helped to know that he was always watching. I'm sure you'll continue to watch over them and cheer them on from Heaven, sitting in the front row next to Rita with the cow bell, Jim and your parents. Lauren said she had a dream you were up there fishing with Chuck, too, and knew you were going to be ok.

From winters skiing in Winter Park, CO, to the 4th of July at the cabin on Balsam Lake, WI, we have no shortage of great memories of you. I want you to know that I love you and I'm going to miss you. Seth and I are so thankful that we had you in our lives. We promise to help raise your beautiful children and take them skiing, camping and fishing as you would have done. I know it's not easy raising kids but you were doing a damn good job of it. They are both very good kids. You prepared them well and taught them the importance of responsibility, hard work, dedication, compassion, but most importantly, always keep your sense of humor.

With love,

Kate

I see trees of green, red roses too. I see them bloom for me and you. And I think to myself what a wonderful world. I see skies of blue and clouds of white. The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night. And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

-Louis Armstrong